As Soon as I Said it, I Thought “Did I Just Accidentally Quit?”

by Drew Holmes

Myra Janko Daniels, President, Chairman, and CEO of The Naples Philharmonic passed me in the hallway outside the library.

“Working hard?” she asked.

“Nope, working smart!” was my pithy reply. Immediately I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach. Did I just accidentally quit?

A few weeks earlier I had started my new job as Principal Librarian for the Naples Philharmonic Orchestra in Naples, FL. At just 23 years old, I was easily the youngest full-time orchestra librarian in the country. Myra, my boss, had taken a gamble hiring someone so young.

I had spent the previous year working simultaneously for the Brooklyn Philharmonic and the Philadelphia Orchestra. I slept more on trains than in my own bed, so when the opportunity arose to work one job in one city (and live in that city to boot!), I jumped at the chance.

Naples was my first “real” job after graduating college. Until then I had been building my professional reputation working under Clint Nieweg, Principal Librarian of the Philadelphia Orchestra and one of the most knowledgeable and respected in the field. I owed everything until then to my association with Clint, but I wanted to take the next step. Naples was the opportunity I had been seeking to finally trade on my own name.

Moving 1200 miles away from everyone and everything I knew, I had second thoughts the moment I signed the year-long lease on my apartment. I had never lived alone before. I had never managed a staff. What if I was not as good at this as I thought I was? What if I lost my job? What would I tell Clint if I failed?

These doubts bubbled to the surface as Myra considered my answer. Seconds passed like hours as the clock on the wall ground forward. Then she smiled and nodded, snapping me out of my momentary trance. The moment passed. Not only was I still employed, but I also had her tacet approval for the job I was doing. This was going to work out after all.

The Naples Philharmonic was the ideal test of my orchestra library skills. I learned how to manage a staff, budget time, and run an office. I have worked many jobs since then, but that initial success was a crucial foundation for my career.

That uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach has been present many times since. I know now it is because I am trying something new, different, or out of my comfort zone. Rather than allowing it to paralyze me with fear, I seek the lesson it is trying to teach me. To be aware of my surroundings. To see things as they are. To learn.

In a new city, working a new job, I had no idea if I would be a success, a footnote, or an amusing anecdote. Fortunately, by trusting myself and working smarter, not harder, that opportunity has propelled me on one heck of a ride.