Finding Tribe in a Band I Did Not Want to Join

by Drew Holmes

As an eighth-grade trumpet player, I knew I did not want to join my high school marching band. It was a foreign and intimidating activity and would occupy many nights and weekends. Marching had been required to enroll in high school band, so I was considering just dropping it altogether and sticking with choir.

Then something amazing happened. Marching band was made fully extra-curricular, so it was no longer required for participating in band. That was it, I was set. I would stay in my safe concert band and not push myself outside of my comfort zone and march.

Or so I thought.

One of my friends from Boy Scouts was a year ahead of me and played trumpet in the marching band. He would not hear of me opting out and voluntold me that I was going to march the next year.

I am forever grateful that he did.

Band camp occurred in the weeks before school started, so I had a head start in learning a new building. Band was one of the few activities not segregated by year, so I now had friends in all grades. We won our division for all of New England that year and the next. Throughout my marching band experience, I developed confidence in my playing, became section leader, and earned the honor of being a featured soloist in several shows. But most importantly I found my tribe.

Attending college several states from home, I arrived at school not knowing anyone on campus. Joining the Drew University Orchestra gave me instant community, kindred spirits united by a love for making music. Later when I moved to Naples FL, I played in the Naples Concert Band alongside retired professional musicians and educators (including a saxophonist who played with Henry Mancini back in the day). While living in the Hudson Valley, I was part of the Orange County Community College orchestra, sitting next to a fascinating trumpet player who flew helicopters for a living. The Stony Brook University band had me alongside future professional musicians and educators in all fields, not just music.

Today I live in the Front Range of Northern Colorado. I have made numerous friends through playing trumpet in groups like the Loveland Concert Band, Foothills Pops Band, Loveland Orchestra, and Just for Kicks Big Band. Though I have taken an extended break from playing my trumpet, once I am able to return I know the community will be there, ready to welcome me back into the ensemble.

Though reluctant and at first, participating in marching band was one of the highlights of my high school career. Now when I start with a new group, that familiar feeling of discomfort that comes with pushing just outside of my comfort zone always creeps in. Will I like the music? Will I like the people? Most important, will they like me? Every time the answer is yes because we share a common language and love for making music.

Music is a universal activity. Across five states and two time zones, with each move I have found connection to every community through music. My tribe is everywhere and no matter where I go, I know that I am home.